I need to launch this website NOW

I’ve been telling myself I’m going to launch my website for days weeks months now, and as of me writing this, June 5th in the year of our Lord 2022, it still has not been published. It’s been so long since I’ve been thinking about this website that I JUST got the email about my domain name re-registration. Domain registrations last a year, so that means it’s almost been a year since I’ve started working on this, and still nothing. 

I have to ask myself why that is. Why do I keep working and reworking the themes on the site instead of doing the stuff that really matters? Why have I deleted and restarted this website three times and ended up with the same theme that I started with? Why do I let the little setbacks get in the way of my larger goals? Am I still talking about my website? I think I am, but if I tell myself the truth, that’s probably not 100% accurate. 

A lot can happen in a year. For me, this past year has probably been one of the worst of my life. I hope I can speak frankly to you, dear reader, because now that I’m in my, ehem, mid twenties, that’s the only way I want to speak. It doesn’t feel useful to attempt to be someone I’m not like I did in middle school. Nor does it feel right to hate little parts of myself hoping that if I hated them enough maybe they’d disappear. That was high school Bri. I like college me, who started learning so much about herself so quickly; she’s helped shape mid-twenties Bri, and that B is Going Places (is it shameless product placement if you’re already on my website? I’ll give myself a pass (but while I’m at it, subscribe to my YouTube channel here 😉 ) Mid-twenties Bri is so resilient. She’s so curious, and excitable, and loving. I love seeing what she’ll do next. Despite everything that hopes to stand in her way. 

I think I want to talk about this year, and why it’s been so hard for me, but I don’t think I’m ready. I’ve been telling myself to do it. I think other people will get it, but every time I try, I get scared, or cry, or usually more often, it’s a combination of the two. 

Anyway, before I can do any of that, I need to launch this website. I can do that. Really it only takes a click of a button. I’ve already got some things written. I just need to let go of my worries and click a button. But it’s taken me almost a year already, and I’m not 100% sure how to make myself let go. You’ll know when I do. 

All my love, 

Briana