Monday Musings
It’s Monday, and you know what that means! Actually, you don’t because this is something new I want to start on Briana is Going Places: Monday Musings!
One of my new year’s goals is to post weekly on my website. Monday Musings was borne out of that desire. I want my website to be a place to host my memories as well as the things I’m currently thinking about. I know I’m not the first to muse on a Monday, and I’m sure I won’t be the last. Hopefully I’ll be the most Briana.
Today, was back to school after a six week vacation. My holiday was wonderful (and lazy) and surprisingly, I wasn’t dreading returning to school. Even though it’s work, I’m really happy with my job (even though I don’t love my company), so it’s not so bad. I had three classes this morning, and I have none for the rest of the day, so the name of the game is PLANNING AHEAD. Last semester, I would be piecing together lessons in the planning period before the class I had to teach them, and it was so silly of me. I had so much planning time, but I just wouldn’t. I even had to do work at home because I just didn’t feel like doing it at work which is silly! Not this semester.
This semester, I’m also hoping to be a better steward of my planning time in general. Each day, I have at least two hours worth of planning. Most days, like tomorrow, I have way more; I’m talking teaching one class and having seven free periods way more. It’s easy to let that time racy by me without being productive, but I don’t want to let it. I’m hoping to fill that time with more reading, writing, studying Chinese, and overall just bettering myself.
I was trying to decide whether I want to talk about my holiday, but I’ll save that for its own post.
On My Mind
One of the things that’s been on my mind a lot recently is what does moving forward look like. For those of you who don’t know, I went through a pretty tough break up a couple years ago. I keep telling myself I’ll make a video about it, but I keep chicening out. I even feel a sense of embarrassment come over me when typing a couple of years ago. Shouldn’t I be over it by now? I should be moved on. Why am I not already married with a kid by now? Why do I feel okay sometimes and other days still feel so hurt?
In theory, I know that things will happen on my own timeline, not other people’s. There is no too long or too short. However, it’s not always easy to remember the in theories. I spoke with one of my friends about this, and she suggested I try to reframe what moving forward meant for me. Maybe the fact that I’m thinking about it and trying to move on counts as a step. Moving on doesn’t have to mean jumping (though at this point idk if I would consider anything jumping) into another relationship. Maybe it means just doing what I can to restore my trust, and love as much as I can on the people who cherish my love. Who really knows?
Until next time,
Briana